Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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