Just fell off a train. Bad.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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