I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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