def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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