There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
