Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you still have your period?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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