Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize