JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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