The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
