remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
