Soap is not a condiment
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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