In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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