in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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