CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
