Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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