the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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