Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
