I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize