This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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