Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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