dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
