i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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