At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
