Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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