oh god the rape fog is back!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
