He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
