Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
