Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
