420 ftw
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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