her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my shit smells like andre
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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