ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
