i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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