I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize