He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have aggressive nipples.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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