So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
