3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
