ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
