I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
