Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
