You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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