Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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