if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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