Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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