im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
