I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
