If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
