Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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