I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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