she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
