Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
