I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
