I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
