My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
