I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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