You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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