i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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