What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize