i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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