My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Enjoy the penises
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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