i was born a porn star she said
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
