I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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