I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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