I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
