i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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