I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize