your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
