Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
